The Ahankara

Imagine a game show on television — A host whose hair is prefect, and whose teeth are sparkly white, holds a microphone, and cards with questions to ask. Three contestants standing behind little podiums with buzzers in their hands. They look nervously at the cameras. The prize, they are told, is beyond description, but “it is what everyone wants!” The first question is asked: “Who are you?” The fastest contestant with the buzzer rings in — “Michelle!” they cry out confidently. BUZZ – the sound for the wrong answer rings out loudly. Another contestant seizes the moment and squeezes their buzzer. “A Man!” he states with utmost confidence. BUZZ — wrong again. The final contestant is hesitant, but thinking they have nothing to lose, rings in anyway, “An Athlete?” BUZZ — So sorry!” says the host, with a smile. She continues, “You are all wrong. The answer is – you are a Soul!” All those other things you mentioned are things you have, designations, and labels but they are not what you are. This is what is known as The False Ego, in Sanskrit, or The Ahankara.

The Ahankara is the “I” maker

Of the three parts of the Mind (in yogic text referred to as The Citta) the Ahankara could be thought to be the trickiest, because it is the place where most of us hang out most of the time, but it’s not who we actually are.

Let’s back track to the game show. In yoga, the only answer that would have been correct to the question, “Who are you?” is that you are a soul. Eternally. You, in your true identity as a soul, have traversed the universe since time in memoriam, and have taken on many different bodies – trees, ants, dogs, men, women, Asian, African, European. Each time your soul took on a body, it received the wondrous machine known as the Mind, which contains three parts: the lower mind (the Manos), the area of discernment (the Buddhi), and the false ego (the Ahankara).

The Ahankara is the seat of our identity while in our current bodies. It is the part of us that looks at the mirror, and knows that this is our own face and the pair of feet down there, are our feet. And beyond recognizing which container our soul is presently in, it does something else – it is where we decide what we like, and what we don’t like. This is the part of the Citta that tells us – “I don’t like the taste of olives, so I will stay away from them,” or, “I do like the taste of olives, so I will try to have them every chance I get!” All the ways you might describe yourself to someone – your name, age, nationality, familial relationships, occupation, hobbies, race, religion, and quirks are products of the Ahankara. That is why it is often called the “I” maker and also why it is called the false ego.

Why is it considered the false ego?

Here is where it gets tricky… Let’s use the example of your doctor. Are they who they say they are when they are a doctor and also a mother from the same town you grew up in, and also loves salty pretzels? Well, no and yes. In terms of yoga, that description of them would be considered a temporary truth – sort of like when an actor plays a role. Are they Hamlet? For the hours of the performance they are, but that is not who they are all the time. This is why the Ahankara is called the false ego, because it is an identity that we assume for the time we are inhabiting that particular body.

However, it is not eternally who we are and in yogic philosophy, something is not really true unless it is eternally true. The problem is we need this particular “I” identity in this world for several reasons. One cannot walk around just saying, “I am a spirit soul who is eternal, full of knowledge, and ever blissful,” (particularly at a parent teacher’s conference, with your embarrassed teenager looking on). One has to say, “I am a parent. That is my child. This is what both my child and I are responsible for,” and that is where the “I” identity is most often needed, in our everyday lives to realistically function with the outside world. Even though we are just really souls that have a body…

When we hold too tightly the identities we have in this lifetime: Man, woman, black, white, Catholic, Hindu, etc. it is easy for those classifications to calcify into walls. We begin to see those things we like and agree with almost as extensions of ourselves.

Think of a stage mother, or a soccer father – they see their talented child not as a separate being, but as a part of them. So often we come across people that think that only people that believe in what they believe, or speak the language they speak are legitimate and worthy to exist. Walls are built up, and what do walls do – keep others out! Wars are fought because one group has decided that because another group is different from their (temporary) reality they should be done away with. But, yet, we do, in fact need that sense of who we are during this lifetime. As tricky as it is, we must learn to distinguish when we need these “I” identities and when they are hindering us.

The balance between now and eternity

How exactly do we balance these two truths (our eternal identity as soul and our temporary identity as who we currently are?) The first step, as is true of any big change, is awareness. Even the thought, “This is a role I am playing, and I have been countless beings before this,” can help shift the dynamic of seeing this one set of personality and bodily features as our eternal selves. The beauty of a human birth is that we have the capacity to inquire about who and what we eternally are – to open our eyes to our greater selves, and to use the body and the mind that we have right now for discovery.

It is said that in the spiritual world (the Soul’s (our) real home) every word is a song and every step is a dance. In the Bhagavad Gita, Krsna says, “Know that all opulent, beautiful and glorious creations spring from but a spark of My splendor. (10.41) Who we are, eternally, really is part of that magnificence.” Even B.K. S. Iyengar says that we are “all sparks of Divinity.”

Knowing this can motivate us to realize that though our present identity (our Ahankara) may be pretty wonderful and fulfilling, there is something more to us than what we are right now. Something that won’t go away, because, as we know this human body, with all of it’s likes, dislikes, talents, and familial relations, is simply not eternal. This Ahankara will give way to another one, during another birth. But our eternal identity is not a false one, it is a real one – because it is based on what we actually are – a soul.